


We seek someone to sew sutures in the places where we're torn

by kirani



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Punk Band, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Crushes, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Nonbinary Character, Self-Esteem Issues, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25078825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani/pseuds/kirani
Summary: Gansey isn't the half of his soulmate pair with a name, and Blue hasn't said anything so he doesn't think she has his name either. That doesn't mean he doesn't have a huge crush on the cute bassist of his roommate's band. Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Noah Czerny & Richard Gansey III, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35
Collections: TRC Big Bang 2020





	1. I’ve been fistfighting gravity

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 2020 Raven Cycle Big Bang and my artist was the amazing Wuzzy who created a kickass playlist to go along with the fic! You can find that [on spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7qrXICMINTCXAkRfuXdX9W?si=PWynighgRiuUHz1BYrAw4g) or [on youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYnR9xrvCuND558H-4ZeQv_s8DerubUU9) . A hundred thank yous to both my artist and to my beta Sheillagh who helped me sort out some crucial plot points that just weren't flowing.  
> The fic title is a lyric from from Calling Old Friends by Defiance, Ohio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a lyric from Vampires are Poseurs by Pat the Bunny

Gansey didn’t think about his soulmark, or lack thereof, really. He hadn’t given it much thought since his thirteenth birthday rolled around and he didn’t get a name. 

He didn’t mind, not really. Only half the world got a name. The other half had to just wait and see. He wondered occasionally about who had his name on their skin, but for the most part he didn’t think about it. 

In his teens, he’d gone on a few dates, even had a handful of what could be called relationships, but neither Kaitlin nor Ben nor Jenny nor Eric had had the name Richard or Gansey (he always wondered if the tattoo would show his given name or what he called himself. He didn’t have a good answer, he just really hoped it wouldn’t show his deadname). And dating for fun had petered out after a couple of dates or a couple of weeks or a couple of months. 

So Gansey just didn’t think about it much. He figured he was just one of those people who would find his soulmate and that would be that. He just had to wait. 

And in the meantime, he was happy! He had a decent relationship with his parents, even if they couldn’t understand his perpetual student status into his late twenties. He had a loving, if teasing, relationship with his sister. He was best friends with his roommate and friends with a bunch of other cool people. He enjoyed his studies and even enjoyed TA-ing for the undergrads his advisor taught. So what if he was twenty-eight and single? He was happy. 

His afternoon grading exams was interrupted by the arrival of his roommate, Noah. They always seemed to enter a room like they were late, hair in disarray and breathing hard like they’d run up the stairs. 

“Hey, Gans,” Noah greeted casually. “How’s grading?”

Gansey shrugged and made a non-committal noise. “The usual. How was work?”

Noah worked at a company downtown doing… something on a computer. Gansey wasn’t sure what. But he often found them glaring at and cursing Excel spreadsheets late at night and was forced to drag them away from their work. 

Noah mirrored his shrug and hummed. “Client meetings. Boss meetings. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Pizza for dinner?”

“Sure,” Gansey smiled. He could use a break from grading anyways. “What do you want?”

Gansey always called Nino’s, their favorite pizza place, since they didn’t take orders online and Noah hated making phone calls. 

“Pineapple!” Noah called over their shoulder as they went to dump their bag in their bedroom and change out of their work clothes. Gansey grinned and dialed Nino’s.

After the pizza arrived, Noah cleared their throat awkwardly. They had picked up their first slice of pizza but put it down and fidgeted with a napkin. 

“Hey, Gans?”

Gansey swallowed his bite of avocado pizza. “You okay?” 

Noah nodded. “You know how The Sleeping Trees rehearses in Blue’s living room and it was super chill and nice because she didn’t have roommates?”

“Yes?” 

“Well her neighbors disagree that it is, in fact, chill. They filed noise complaints and Blue thinks we should move to a new place. Only the other rehearsal spaces we’ve found all cost money, like a lot of money, and we don’t really have a lot of gigs and they don’t pay well when we do,” Noah rambled, twisting their napkin so it started to tear. 

Gansey blinked at Noah. Were they asking for money? That wasn’t like Noah. 

“Anyway I wondered if you minded if the band rehearsed here instead.” Noah let out a heavy sigh as the words ran out. 

Oh, well that made sense. That made perfect sense, actually. Why hadn’t he thought about that before? Monmouth Manufacturing was a huge building whose closest neighbors were across a field or through a small copse of trees, plus they were on the second floor of the old building so it was pretty insulated.

“It’s just, we don’t have any neighbors, you know? Well, not in the building. They’re down the road but it’s pretty far so they can’t complain, and –,” 

“Noah!” Gansey interrupted at last. “Of course that’s fine. Monmouth is your space as much as mine. Of course I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Noah’s eyes met his at last and the napkin fell from their fingers. 

“Yes. Now eat your gross pineapple pizza before it gets cold.” Gansey picked up his own slice and took another bite. 

“He says as he eats avocado pizza. Honestly, Gansey, it’s like you want to be teased.” Noah grinned and picked up their own slice, which Gansey mimed toasting with his own. 

The next evening, Gansey drove over to Blue’s apartment with Noah and helped carry the drumset downstairs into Noah’s car. Blue Sargent, the band’s bassist, shoved off his help and carried a case behind him. As she hauled the case into the back of Noah’s hatchback, he tried not to stare. 

He probably didn’t succeed. 

Blue was so far out of his league it was almost comical, but he couldn’t help having a little bit of a crush on her. For starters, she was crazy talented. She could pick wild rhythms on her bass guitar with ease and do it with a smirk and a wink. She was smart as hell, too, running the band’s merch sales numbers between shows and holding Gansey to firm quotas when he ran their merch table, which was often. Plus she was really attractive. She wore eyeliner wings sharper than a knife that complimented her dark eyes and increasingly elaborate hairstyles. She dressed like she was wearing half her closet at once but it _worked_ for her. 

Yeah, he was definitely staring. 

Noah slammed the trunk shut and gave Blue a hug. “Thanks, Blue. See you Monday.”

“See ya,” Blue ruffled their hair as she released them, then waved vaguely to Gansey as she turned to go back into her apartment building.

As soon as the doors to the car closed behind them, Noah turned to him. “Dude.”

Gansey groaned. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m working on it. She just --,”

“I know, she’s strong and smart and talented and hot. I know. But you have got to either get a handle on this crush or ask her out already!” Noah waved their hand at the building they were still parked outside of. 

“I can’t ask her out, Noah. I really can’t.” Gansey sighed.

“Then chill, man.” 

“I will,” he promised. 

Noah put the car in gear and drove them home. 

The group chat blew up only ten minutes after they had finished unloading the drums up the stairs to their living space and set them up on the side of what they had decided was their living room in the big space.

“Noah!” Gansey whined. Noah just laughed from the direction of the kitchen. Gansey opened the chat. 

**Class of YEETeen**

**Lynch:** Heard you made a fool out of yourself in front of Jane again today

 **Parrish:** Ogling her muscles? Really, Gans?

 **Czerny:** It was more of a light staring, I told you! 

**Lynch:** I get it though, if I were straight, wait nvm no way I don’t wanna be straight.

 **Parrish:** Yes we get it, you’re very gay.

 **Lynch:** Love you too, Parrish

 **Czerny:** ew

Gansey sighed. Jane was the code name he had given before his college friends had figured out who his crush was, and now they wouldn’t leave it alone. He finally entered the group chat.

 **Gansey:** Let me live

 **Lynch:** nope

 **Parrish:** never

 **Czerny:** [cry-laugh emoji]

He dropped the phone on his bed and wandered out to the front room. Flicking on the television, he flopped onto the couch. 

Noah leaned against the door frame into the kitchen and regarded him. 

“Am I really that bad?” Gansey asked.

“It’s pretty bad, Gansey. But she doesn’t know. We haven’t said anything, I promise.”

Gansey sighed. “I know. Y’all wouldn’t do that.”

“Hey, maybe seeing her more will help. She’s gonna be here every Monday, maybe really getting to know her will lessen the crush!”

“Or maybe I’ll make an utter fool of myself, again, and hide in my room forever,” Gansey groaned, dropping his face into his hands. 

Noah sat beside him on the couch. “Gansey, you’re gonna be fine. She’s just another person for you to hang out with that isn’t a college undergrad or a seventy year old professor. It’s good for you to hang out with her more. She already knows you’re weird, that’s not gonna deter her. Just be yourself.”

Gansey raised his head to give Noah a disbelieving look. “What is this, an after school special?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to be supportive!” Noah laughed, wrapping an arm around Gansey’s shoulder. Gansey leaned it with a small smile. His friends really did mean well, he was just such a disaster. 

“I have friends who aren’t undergrads or professors,” he defended weakly. 

“Name three,” Noah nudged him. 

“You –,”

“Nope, I don’t count. Neither do Lynch or Parrish. Three _others_.”

“Um,” Gansey said eloquently. He had a few other grad students who he ate lunch with occasionally but he didn’t think they were really _friends_ per se. And he didn’t think his sister counted either. 

“That’s what I thought. Come on, this’ll be good for you. I promise, Blue is cool.”

“Yeah, alright. Mario Kart?”

“You’re going down,” Noah grinned and tossed him a controller. Gansey let any worries about Blue slip from his mind. He had three great friends and maybe soon he’d have four. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they changed it to the class of Yeetteen when they left school but also because i didn't want to figure out what year they left school


	2. Tried to put my finger on it but gave it my whole arm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a lyric from Calling Old Friends by Defiance, Ohio

That weekend, the band came over for their first rehearsal at Gansey and Noah’s apartment.

“‘Sup, Dick,” Ronan greeted, cueing the eyeroll he had been giving his friend for the last six years. 

“Lynch. You missed a spot shaving,” Gansey greeted back.

“Fuck you, my hair is perfect,” Lynch grinned back, pulling him in for a one armed hug around his guitar case. When they stepped back Ronan raised one eyebrow at him and Gansey glared meaningfully in return. 

He knew his friends would never reveal his crush on Blue, but they liked to tease anyway. She hadn’t arrived yet anyway, so it was fair game he supposed. He was a bit hopeless about it, honestly. 

Parrish set down his various cases and wrapped Gansey in a proper hug. 

“Long time, Gans,” he murmured, squeezing him tight. 

“Yeah,” Gansey agreed. “How’ve you been?” 

Adam pulled back with a smile and ruffled Gansey’s hair. “It’s good, man. You good?” 

Gansey nodded and picked up the keyboard case to bring into the front room where Ronan and Noah were already setting up. Adam greeted Noah, too, then took his violin case from where it was strapped to Ronan’s back and began to tune it. Gansey leaned against the door frame and watched them all start to warm up. 

Noah sat behind their drum set and then began to fidget with the various pieces until they were exactly where they wanted them and before starting to play little riffs with a grin on their face. In front of the couch, Adam pulled his keyboard out and set it up on the X-stand before playing chords for he and Ronan to tune their guitars to. When they were matched, Adam picked up his violin and Ronan took over the keys for him, just as Blue knocked on the door. 

Gansey looked to Noah, who jerked their head to the door and Gansey shrugged and went to answer it, wiping his palms on his pants as he went. 

Behind the door, Blue Sargent looked startled momentarily before she recovered her wits and flashed him a smile. 

“Hey, Gansey.”

“Hi.”

“Can I… come in?” Blue asked, her smile turning into a smirk beneath spiky bangs. 

Gansey felt his cheeks flush but stood aside for Blue to enter with her bass guitar case. He took a deep breath and followed her into the open space at the center of Monmouth. Blue had already propped her case on the couch and was tuning it to Ronan’s guitar. 

“Joining us Gansey?” She called over her shoulder. 

“Oh, um, no, I was just—,” he stumbled over his words. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel welcome, he just always tended to give his friends their space when it came to the band. And now with Blue he felt like he should give extra space, considering his unwieldy crush. 

Blue and Ronan laughed but waved him into the room, so he took a seat in the armchair off to the side. He pulled out his phone and scrolled half-heartedly through his notifications. A text from his mom about a fundraiser. An instagram notification from his sister. His phone buzzed in his hand. 

**Czerny:** Dude I can see your pining from here just talk to her.

Gansey rolled his eyes and turned off his phone screen purposefully. Noah grinned at him and twirled a drumstick in his fingers. 

“Five, six, seven, eight!” Noah called, tapping their drumsticks together. The band burst into music and Gansey sank back into the chair to absorb it. Their music was two parts chaos, one part rage, and three parts queer, Gansey thought. As the first verse began, Ronan alone on the first line, but then Blue and Adam coming in on harmony, Gansey opened his eyes. 

He had always loved their sound, a vibrant punk that didn’t pretend they weren’t all boys from Appalachia with southern twangs and a penchant for trucks and country music when the mood struck. 

And wow, Blue was amazing like this. Her voice, a rich alto, blended seamlessly with Adam’s baritone and Ronan’s bass like they were made to sing together. He watched as she grinned at Adam before breaking away on a bass solo. Her fingers flew across the strings and Gansey didn’t even try to stop staring. 

Her tongue flicked out as she concentrated on the solo and popped one knee with the rhythm. Noah whooped as she concluded and fell back into a bass line as Ronan came back in on vocals. But Gansey couldn’t tear his eyes away. She swayed with her bass and leaned forward for occasional lines of harmony as they finished the last refrain. Noah’s cymbal rang out a final time and the band grinned at each other before Ronan called another title and they launched into another song. 

This time, Blue had the lead vocals. She picked out a line on her bass guitar before stepping close to the mic and began to sing a gentle melody. Noah joined in with a bass-snare-bass-snare under her bass guitar as she spilled the words into the room. After a couple of lines, Ronan and Adam joined them on keyboard and guitar but Gansey only had eyes for Blue.

He was transfixed. Her braids swayed with her, barely discernible movement with the abundance of pins stuck into them making them poke out in all directions. Her hips kept a gentle half time beat as she played and sang, Adam harmonizing with her in a way that only made her voice feel stronger. 

Her outfit might distract from the performance on someone else, but not her. She wore the wild combination of attire like a second skin, probably because she had made most of it herself. 

She was wearing a ripped up dress that he thought was once a men’s shirt in a bright shade of turquoise and some sort of black sparkling fabric showed through the holes she had cut. A studded belt cinched the dress around her waist and Gansey watched the metal reflect as she moved, never ceasing even when they moved to a new song. Her legs were covered in what was probably two sets of tights, one torn and the other showing through underneath, which ended in a chunky pair of Doc Martens with blue laces. 

Gansey dragged his eyes back to her face, framed by enormous earrings under the artfully wild hair. She winked at him and laughed as he felt his cheeks heating again. How long had he been staring at her? 

He suddenly realized the band had taken a break as Blue twisted off the top of a metal water bottle and took a long swig. He looked down at his phone and tried to disappear. Noah knocked his shoulder with a fist gently as they passed him into the kitchen. 

“You like the new songs?” Blue asked, her boots coming into his view. 

Swallowing hard, Gansey looked up. “Yeah, they’re, uh, they’re really cool.”

“Cool,” Blue said with a smirk. Gansey smiled weakly at her. 

“So your neighbors complained?” He asked. He could talk to her! Take that, Noah! 

Blue rolled her eyes and sat down dramatically on the ottoman. “Yes, they’re such jerks. We weren’t even playing that loud! And it was like three in the afternoon. Fuckers.”

“Jerks,” Gansey agreed awkwardly. Her knees were brushing against his and he was rather proud for being able to say anything at the moment. 

“Thanks for letting us use your space, though. That was cool of you.” This time she knocked her knee against his purposefully as she smiled and all words flew from his mind at the spark of contact. 

He shrugged and nodded at the same time and then felt dumb and just smiled awkwardly at her. “Yep!” 

Wow, he was a mess. 

“Y’all ready to go again?” Ronan asked. 

Blue stood at the same time as Gansey stood and they were suddenly close, too close, until she stepped back. “You gonna stick around?” She asked.

“I’ve got, um, stuff, in my room,” Gansey stammered. 

Blue nodded, confused. “‘Kay. Later, Gansey.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Behind Blue’s back as she fiddled with the keyboard settings, Noah shot him a look that asked what the hell that was. Gansey didn’t even try to answer, just ducked into his bedroom and closed the door as quietly as he could. 

He flopped onto his bed and berated himself. Why could he not keep his cool around her? It was never like this with his previous crushes or even his failed relationships. She just got under his skin and  _ stayed _ there. 

Maybe it was that she was around a lot? No, that would have meant his crushes at school were more intense. He saw them in class every day. He only saw Blue every other week or so. Well, he supposed he would see her more often now that they were rehearsing at Monmouth. 

Maybe they were… no. She would have said if she had his name as her soulmark… Wouldn’t she?

She would. 

Definitely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone help this poor boy


	3. I’ll never be your type, but still my heart aches for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a lyric from My Heart Aches for You, Pansy Division

Gansey didn’t try to sit in rehearsal again for a few weeks. He greeted everyone and then retreated to his room to listen to them play without worrying about getting caught up staring at Blue. He could enjoy the music without making a fool of himself. 

Besides, he was starting to feel like he was intruding on the band. When Noah, Adam, and Ronan had first started the band back in college, he had been so pumped. His friends were great musicians and he loved to hear them jam. It was only natural that he jumped in as their merch guy and number one fan. As they transitioned into adulthood and got jobs (or went back to school in Gansey’s case), the band had fewer gigs and didn’t rehearse in the same space Gansey lived in. It was a thing his friends did and he supported them. It was cool. 

Now, rehearsing in Monmouth, with a new bassist he still hadn’t really gotten to know after two years, he felt suddenly outside somehow; he couldn't really describe it. His crush on Blue only made things more confusing. 

The first week, he greeted the guys just like he had the first week. Ronan and Adam showed up first as they had the week before — Gansey was starting to get the impression that Blue was one of those people who prefered to show up fashionably late — and when another knock sounded on the door, Gansey leaned purposefully against his bedroom door frame until Noah rolled his eyes and went to the door. 

By the time she arrived in the main space, he was working at the desk in his room and studiously ignoring the band setting up. He could see them all through the doorway but didn’t look up at them as he pulled up his thesis and took nonsensical notes erratically as the band set up. 

“Ready?” Ronan asked the band. Gansey looked up at last and waved at them all, before stretching out and closing his bedroom door. Ronan just nodded and let him go. 

Noah rolled their eyes at him before the door closed and Gansey hoped his blush didn’t bloom until the door was closed. 

The rehearsal was awesome as always, and Gansey gave up on trying to work on his thesis at all and instead flopped onto his bed to listen. He stretched out and let himself sink into the music. He was really into a piece he was pretty sure Adam had written, even though Ronan was singing while Adam switched over to his violin, and pulled out his phone to pass along the compliment. 

**Class of YEETeen**

**Gansey:** Love the new song with the violin. That one yours, Adam?

The reply didn’t come until the band took a break. 

**Parrish:** Yeah, I’m still playing with the title, but I’m really into it. 

**Lynch:** Dude, we know you’re listening, come out and join the party.

**Czerny:** It’s okay, Gans, you can stay in there if you want. But you are welcome if you want!

Gansey sighed and turned off his phone screen, dropping it facedown on his chest to listen to the rest of the rehearsal. He didn’t emerge until everyone had left afterwards. 

By the second week, he had a bit more of a handle on things. He would get a hold of the crush better if he just spent more time with Blue, and maybe they could really become friends at last, like Noah suggested. 

So he greeted everyone and settled into the couch to watch them warm up and dick around on their instruments. Blue gave him a smile as she tuned her bass and he smiled back, willing his blush to disappear. Judging by the heat in his cheeks, he didn’t succeed. 

As they talked about what to rehearse first, Gansey stole away for a drink from the kitchen he had installed in the side of the main space. He leaned against the counter as he watched them play through their first song, trying not to stare at Blue. Maybe he could do this? 

This song was an old one they were bringing back into rotation for shows and polishing it up again. It was one of Gansey’s favorites because the drums had a fun little syncopation and Blue got really into it. She did this little hip pop with each down beat and it just drew Gansey in without his control. 

When they wrapped the first song she looked into the kitchen and winked at him and Gansey knew he had been staring again. He grabbed a bag of chips from the counter and darted into his room. He clearly could not handle this.

The third week, he didn’t even bother coming out of his room. He had been awkward at best around Blue and probably embarrassed himself horribly. He would see Adam and Ronan another time. He just couldn’t face her today. 

He was also starting to realize that he was jealous of the band, in his own way. It was something he’d never be a part of and his three best friends would be. It didn’t mean they didn’t genuinely want him around, and he should believe them when they invited him into rehearsals. But he couldn’t bring himself to. 

Partly, it was Blue. He really was embarrassingly into her, and his tendency to trip over his feet and tongue around her made him feel horribly out of place. But he also envied her in the same way he envied the band itself. She knew Noah, Adam, and Ronan through their shared music and Gansey never would, no matter how many rehearsals he hung out at or shows he went to. 

Maybe he did need more friends. 

So now he was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the band pick their way through a new song Blue had written. The instruments wound down as they took a break, and then Gansey heard Blue ask, “What’s going on with Gansey?”

A silence fell in the main room and Gansey froze, desperate not to make a noise and give away that he was home. Noah must not have said anything. 

All at once, Adam, Ronan, and Noah tried to assure her that nothing was up with him and he was just busy today. It was sweet.

“But he’s never around when we play. He always just holes up in his room. I don’t mind if he listens to rehearsal, you know? And y’all have been friends with him forever. Why is he hiding?”

“He’s not hiding,” Noah’s voice said. “He’s just doing his own thing.”

Blue hummed and Gansey could tell she didn’t believe him. 

“Should I talk to him? I don’t want him to be uncomfortable in his own home, you know?”

“No, I’m sure it’s okay,” Adam insisted. They were such good friends, damn. 

“What, does he have a crush on me or something?” Blue laughed. 

Gansey’s heart dropped into his stomach. Was he that transparent? Silence in the other room was quickly taken over by frantic lies by Adam and Noah, even as Ronan started playing his guitar again. Blue had stopped laughing but wasn’t replying. She knew. 

In the safety of his room, Gansey closed his eyes against the rush of embarrassment, willing himself not to cry at the thought of her rejecting him. It would surely come soon, and then what? He’d just have to pretend it was fine and keep running their merch table and listening to their rehearsals and pretend like he wasn’t completely destroyed by the memory of that laugh. 

How funny, Gansey liking Blue! How hilarious that he could have a crush? Couldn’t he tell she wasn’t interested in boys like him? He couldn’t even play an instrument. He didn’t stand a chance. 

In the main space, the music started again, Gansey having missed however that conversation was resolved. He’d just hide in his room forever. This was fine. 

That night over a “cool new recipe” Noah had discovered that was basically just chicken and rice with some lemon in it, they asked the question Gansey had been dreading.

“Are you sure you’re okay with us rehearsing here? I know you heard us today. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable in your own place. No one does.”

Gansey took a deep breath. “I did hear you. But it’s okay. I’ve got a system. I get a weird amount of work done listening to you guys play.” He tried a smile but it felt warped on his face. He couldn’t tell Noah the truth, best friend or not, it would break their heart to hear that Gansey felt excluded, even if it was no one’s fault. 

“Gansey,” Noah began again.

“No, really. We have a great space here and I love hearing you guys play. I’m just not ready to hang out in here with you yet. With her. I’ll get over it.” That was his story and he was sticking with it. 

Noah looked sadly at him. “You know you could just ask her?”

Gansey laughed. “You heard her. It’s funny to her that I have a crush. It’s ridiculous. Girls like her don’t date boys like me.”

“What?” Noah made a face that told Gansey he was trying not to think the worst version of that sentence.  _ Trans _ guys like Gansey. 

He cut it off. “I mean, like, dorky guys. Nerdy guys. Guys like me. I know you wouldn’t be friends with someone not cool with trans stuff. She’s just so much cooler than me. She’d never date me.”

Noah furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t think you’re that different, honestly. You’re into the same kind of music, clearly. And you’ve got friends in common. That’s a place to start.”

Gansey shrugged. “I don’t think I could handle being rejected, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” Noah admitted, calming down. “You let me know if I can do anything, alright?”

“I will.” He would not. “Thanks, Noah.”

Noah smiled and offered a fist bump over the table, which Gansey completed. He could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're great friends but terrible liars


	4. Echo off the waves and come back home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a lyric from 308 by Signals Midwest

For a couple of weeks, Gansey’s plan worked. He saw his friends but he largely stayed out of the way during rehearsals. 

Like all good things, though, it came to an end. 

Gansey was crossing from the kitchen to his room before rehearsal, and ended up nearly running into Blue. He hadn’t seen her arrive but there she was in the front room, trying to move out of his way.

Only they moved the same direction.

“Oh sorry,” Gansey mumbled.

And then the other direction.

“Shit, wait,” Blue laughed. She stepped carefully to one side and waved him through the space in an over the top motion. “After you, sir.” 

Gansey laughed too, the ridiculousness of getting trapped in a small space with his crush in such a huge room overwhelming him. He smiled at her and took a step forward, willing himself to stop staring at her fake-serious face. 

Which was exactly when he tripped on the side of the coffee table and began to fall, flailing out for something to keep himself upright.

“Oh!” Blue cried out, reaching for him. 

“Shit!” Gansey swore as he grabbed at her upper arm and held on as a small shock shot through his hand. 

“Was that what I think it was?” Gansey asked, his hand still wrapped around Blue’s arm. 

“Um,” Blue mumbled, brow furrowed in confusion. “My mark doesn’t say Gansey, though.”

Ah. Gansey let go of her arm, feeling awkward all over again. 

“My first name is Richard. It’s only been Richard for like, ten years though, so I’m not sure —,”

Blue cut him off by tugging her jacket from her arm and peeled back her sleeve to reveal the name Richard clearly marked on her skin. “I can’t believe I didn’t know your first name,” Blue said with a small smile.

Gansey smiled back despite the dread in the pit of his stomach that he was about to get rejected. 

“Why did you think Ronan called me ‘Dick’?” He forced a laugh, steeling himself for rejection already. 

“Because you're kinda a dick?” Blue teased, pulling true laughter from each of them. Gansey relaxed a little and read the word over and over. 

“Can I touch it?” He asked after a moment, his instinct to confirm taking over. 

“Yeah,” Blue said, turning her body towards him. 

Gansey reached out and traced each letter with his forefinger gently. “Has it always said Richard?” It was another question that quietly nagged at him. The consensus on the internet was yes, but he needed to hear it. 

“Yeah,” Blue answered again, softer this time. “Always said Richard.”

“Good.” 

“Do you want me to call you Richard?” Blue asked. “I can.”

“No, I like Gansey. I picked Richard because I was supposed to be named after my dad if I’d been born a boy. Well, if they’d known I was a boy, whatever, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah I get it.”

“So when I picked my name, I went with the whole thing. Richard Campbell Gansey the third.” 

Blue snorted a small laugh. “That’s so… wow. Can’t believe my soulmate is a ‘third’.” 

Gansey shrugged and smiled. “It seemed right.”

“It does. Gansey, I—,” Blue bit her lip. 

“You don’t want to date me, do you?” Gansey filled in, pushing down on the ugly emotions rearing their heads in his gut. 

“Not… right away, no. Is that okay?” Blue looked nervous and Gansey smiled to reassure her. 

“It’s okay.” He’d been expecting it but it still felt like a stab through the heart. 

“It’s just, we barely know each other. And we could be great friends and maybe it’ll turn into a romantic relationship and maybe it won’t. But I don’t wanna jump right into that just because we’re soulmarked. Does that make sense?”

Gansey nodded. It did. It still felt like a rejection though and she deserved to know the whole story. 

“It does. You should know I already have a bit of a crush on you, though. Full disclosure.” 

“Yeah, I, um, kinda noticed. Are you sure it’s okay? I want to get to know you for you, not as a soulmate, you know? You’re so private sometimes.”

“More like scared of making a fool of myself in front of you,” Gansey laughed nervously. “But it’s okay. I’m glad it’s out in the open at least.” 

Blue smiled at him and leaned up to place a careful kiss on his cheek, which bloomed with heat in response. 

“Oh that’s adorable,” Blue grinned, then wiped away a smudge of lipstick she’d left. 

Gansey dropped to the couch and buried his face in his hands. He heard Noah join them, clumping into the room in his heavy boots.

“All good?” Noah asked. Gansey nodded but didn’t look up, deciding to let Blue disclose whatever she wanted to, preferring to stay hidden in his own hands. 

“Yeah,” Blue said. “Just talking to Gansey and apparently his name is actually Richard Campbell Gansey the third, which just seemed too good to be true.”

Ah, so they weren’t going to tell them. That was alright. Just one more secret, he could handle that. 

“Ah, yeah, it’s a mouthful,” Noah agreed. “I hope you didn’t tease him too much, he looks ready to self-combust.”

“I’m fine, Noah,” Gansey mumbled before wiping a hand down his face and standing again. “I just got a little embarrassed.” 

“Good,” Noah grinned, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “You gonna stay for practice today?” 

Gansey looked at Blue, drawn to her seemingly unwillingly. Platonic or romantic, it seemed the soulmate bond was strong. She nodded, a small imperceptible thing. 

“Yeah, alright,” he agreed. Blue wanted to get to know him. Wanted him to stay. He could do that. “Haven’t been able to in a while with all my work. Will be nice to take a break.”

Noah grinned at him and Blue smiled back when he looked her way as well. He could do this. 

Gansey grabbed a book from his room that he had been reading and curled up in his favorite armchair just as Adam and Ronan arrived for practice. 

“You gonna hang with us today, Gansey?” Adam asked, stealing a glance at Blue. 

Gansey wasn’t going to say anything if Blue wasn’t, though, so he just nodded and held up his book. “Yep, I’ve just got some reading to do today, thought I’d hang out here instead.”

“Cool, glad to have you,” Adam smiled, bumping a fist against Gansey’s bicep. Gansey tried his best to believe it. “You know you’re always welcome.”

“Thanks, Parrish.” 

Ronan just nodded his way and then unpacked his instruments. Gansey nodded back. 

Rehearsal was nice. He really did enjoy hearing them play and their playful bickering between songs and, once, in the middle of a song causing them to completely derail and just start riffing, forgetting about the actual music. 

Gansey finished his book just before they called it a night and tucked it beside him in the chair.

“Perfect timing, I just finished my book, too.”

“I don’t know how you can read with all our noise,” Blue shook her head but there was a fondness in the teasing and Gansey grinned back at her. 

“Guess I’m just used to my student’s noise. Was nice to get to hang out with y’all today.”

“Yeah, you should stay more often,” Blue offered. 

“I think I will.” Four best friends. That’s what he had and that was good. 

“Should we get dinner?” Blue asked, looking at Gansey first but then looking to the others as well. 

“We’ve got plans, sorry Sargent,” Adam said, hoisting his keyboard case to his back. “Dinner with Matthew.”

“Oh, nice, tell him I said hi!” Blue offered her fist for a bump and Adam matched knuckles. “Noah?” 

“Sure. Pizza?” 

“We literally just had pizza,” Gansey rolled his eyes. 

“You just don’t want Blue to find out about your toppings choices,” Noah teased. 

Gansey groaned and covered his face with his hands for the second time that day. 

“Wait, why? What does he put on pizza?” Blue asked, slinging her bass case onto her own back now.

“They put pineapple on theirs!” Gansey pointed at Noah. 

“Pineapple is a lesser pizza sin than avocado, Gansey, I don’t know what to tell you,” Noah laughed. 

“I—, where do I even start? Is it hot? Do they cook it?” Blue giggled before stifling it. 

“No, they put it on afterwards. It’s kinda hot though because the pizza is hot? It’s really good, okay? Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Gansey folded his arms and met Blue’s gaze. 

They both burst into laughter and Gansey felt something loosen in his chest, something settling into place. 

“I don’t know what just happened here but we’re out,” Ronan interrupted. “Later, losers.”

“See ya, Lynch,” Gansey smiled, getting a smirk from Ronan in reply. 

“So, pizza?” Noah twirled a drumstick in their fingers. 

“Yeah I gotta try this avocado pizza now,” Blue teased, offering her arm to Noah who linked their elbow in hers and linked with Gansey with their other. 

“Ugh, fine,” Gansey relented. 

He had had worse days, if he were honest, he could stand to be teased for pizza toppings by his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact “Why did you think Ronan called me ‘Dick’?” // “Because you're kinda a dick?” was one of the first parts of this fic I wrote


	5. Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist, keep on loving, keep on fighting, and hold on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is lyrics from Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of your Fist by Ramshackle Glory

Noah didn’t mention it but Gansey could tell they had noticed his and Blue’s fledgling friendship. After the night of pizza slice swapping and soda belching contests, Noah had started to ask but had cut themself off. 

Gansey was glad for it, he didn’t know what he would even say. All he knew is he felt like he belonged there and that was nice after the tension he’d been pushing through with the band recently.

But before the next rehearsal, Noah snagged Gansey in the kitchen. 

“Hey, I have to run like, right after rehearsal today. Are you cool if the others hang out? Not for hours or whatever, just so they don’t have to all rush, too.” 

“Yeah of course,” Gansey answered truthfully. “Adam and Ronan are my friends, too. And Blue and I are… better.” 

He still didn’t have an answer to what, if anything, they were telling the rest of the band, and it wasn’t like he had her number to text and ask. 

“Good,” Noah grinned. “I’m glad. Sucks when you were hiding and sulking.”

“I wasn’t sulking!”

“Sure,” they smirked. 

Gansey just rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sulking, really, just figuring his own shit out. “Thanks for letting me take my time, though. Even if I definitely wasn’t sulking.”

“Anytime.”

Gansey grabbed another book, if only to keep himself from staring at Blue, and took up his seat in the living room when the band arrived. Once again, he passed a pleasant afternoon reading in the company of his best friends and his soulmate, and decided he could happily do this forever. 

When six o’clock hit, Noah tucked away their drumsticks, exchanged quick fist bumps, and darted out the door, car keys in hand. 

“Always late to something, our Noah,” Blue laughed. 

“Why didn’t y’all just end early?” Gansey asked, noting the page number before closing his book. 

Adam shrugged. “They didn’t want to cut us short just because their sister demanded an early dinner.”

Gansey shook his head with a smile. “Never change, Noah. Y’all are welcome to stay if you want, I’ve got some beers and cokes, we can hang for a bit.”

“So long as avocado pizza is not involved,” Ronan teased. Gansey flipped him off. 

“Yeah I’m down,” Blue agreed, snapping shut her bass case. “What kind of beer?” 

Gansey led her to the fridge and she picked one out before flopping on the couch. 

“How did y’all end up in this building anyways?” Blue asked as she cracked the lid off her bottle. “It’s cool as hell, don’t get me wrong.”

Gansey shrugged as he took a seat on the armchair beside her. “It was up for auction and I had been looking at shitty apartments for so long that my eyeballs were burning. So I bid on it. No one else did so it was mine.”

“The apartments in this town that awful?” Blue teased. 

“Mostly I was sick of looking at a bunch of cookie cutter bullshit apartments with barely any space. This has the space.” He gestured around the cavernous main space of Monmouth with his beer before cracking the top off and taking a sip. 

“You just needed a new project,” Adam added. “Fixing this place up was your new baby after your Master’s thesis was over.”

“You fixed it up?” Blue asked, craning her neck to look at him. 

“Yeah, it was basically just a big empty warehouse space, you know? Had plumbing for a bathroom but nothing actually there. The bedrooms were old offices so they had horrible fluorescent lighting. And there was no kitchen and we needed one.”

“Why didn’t you just hire someone?” She asked. 

“I didn’t want to,” he shrugged again. “It was fun.”

It had been, too. He had taken the summer between his Master’s degree and starting his PhD program to do the rehab and the manual labor satisfied something deep in him. Creating a space for himself in the world. 

“Fucker roped me into helping install half of it,” Ronan added, “but yeah I guess it was fun.” 

“There’s the spirit.” Gansey toasted towards him across the room and Ronan toasted back. 

“Impressive,” Blue said as she looked around, seeming to see Monmouth in a fresh light. 

“Thanks.” 

Conversation flowed from there, Adam jumping in with a story of a band he and Ronan had seen a few days ago, then to an update of Ronan’s new foal, and soon it was nearly eight o’clock and Gansey’s stomach made itself known. 

“Ah, we should get out of your hair,” Blue offered. 

“No worries, I can cook us something if y’all wanna keep hanging out?” Gansey offered, not wanting the night to end. 

“We should get home, early morning,” Adam begged off, standing up and pulling Ronan with him. 

“Alright,” Gansey stood, helping them round up their instruments and seeing them off. He turned, expecting Blue to be right behind them, but her bass case was still on the floor and she hadn’t risen from the couch. 

“I could go for some dinner, if you’re offering,” she said. 

Gansey swallowed hard and nodded. “Sure.” 

He could do this, he could! Noah would be back soon anyways and then it wouldn’t be so awkward. But really, she was his soulmate, he should be able to handle dinner! They were going to have to get to know each other at some point.

Gansey walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking inventory before pulling out a zucchini and a bell pepper, then grabbing a can of tomato sauce and a box of pasta from the pantry. He couldn’t possibly mess up pasta, right?

Blue jumped onto a spare bit of counter and watched him work. He glanced at her a couple of times and she smiled awkwardly back at him. They could be friends! 

“Okay why is this so weird?” Gansey said finally, when he had dumped the pasta into the pot and the vegetables into the pan. “It wasn’t weird when Adam and Ronan were here!”

Blue laughed. “I don’t know!” 

“This is ridiculous. Look, we’re apparently soulmates, which means we’ll get along if we try. So. Tell me something about yourself.”

“Like what?” Blue asked.

“Anything,” Gansey stirred the water as it came back up to a boil.

“My parents weren’t soulmates,” Blue said. 

“Oh.”

She shrugged. “It never really bothered me. My mom is actually soulmates with her two best friends, they raised me all together. She’s also soulmates with her new boyfriend, actually. He’s cool.”

Gansey had heard of multiple soulmates before but it was rare. Noah had been the first person he’d met who had more than one name, with both Henry and Tad written on their arm.

“That’s nice.” 

“Yeah. I made it more awkward, didn’t I?” Blue asked. 

Gansey laughed. “I think so, yeah. That takes skill.”

“Oh fuck off,” Blue laughed. “What about you?”

“My parents are soulmates. My sister found hers when she was twenty but they refuse to marry, despite my mother’s pleas. Been together nearly ten years and she and Marianne are firm on the position that the government has no place in their relationship.”

“Hell yeah, go sister Gansey.”

“Helen,” Gansey offered. 

“Go Helen. Wow your parents kinda suck at naming kids.” 

“Tell me about it,” Gansey laughed. “What about you? Any siblings?”

“Nope, just me. My parents had already split by the time I was born so no little siblings for me. It’s cool though, I grew up with my mom’s two best friends in the house as aunts, basically. It was a good house.” 

“Good.” Gansey took a deep breath before asking what he really wanted to. “So, I know we haven’t really talked about it, but do we wanna tell the others that we’re, you know”

“I didn’t know what you thought so I didn’t say anything,” Blue knocked her boots against the cabinet. “I’m fine either way.”

“Me too.” 

“We are so good at making decisions,” Blue laughed. “I guess for now we can just get to know each other and tell them later? Once we figure ourselves out a bit?”

“That makes sense. Could you pass me that pepper grinder?”

Blue grabbed it from her other side and held it out to Gansey. When he took it from her hand, their fingers brushed and all the possibilities of their soulmate relationship flashed before his eyes. 

A shiver made its way down Gansey’s spine and he thought he saw one mirrored in Blue. Maybe there was a chance, yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noah just hasn't met their soulmates yet but they will I promise!


	6. We are floating between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is lyrics from They/Them/Theirs by Worriers

Noah was wrong. The more he hung out with Blue, the harder it was to get over his crush. 

They had become friends over the course of the couple of months since their discovery that they were soulmates and each day his crush grew stronger. 

He was sitting on top of a crate backstage now, listening to the band clean up in the empty bar and pretending to be organizing Sleeping Trees merch after fans had pawed through it. But Blue was singing and laughing and Gansey wanted so badly to tell her how he felt. Tell her again. Tell her stronger. 

But she had told him she didn’t want to jump into things and he was respecting that. He would respect it if she never wanted to date. But he was starting to think she did, too. It was in the little touches she gave him as she walked past; it was in the secret glances when Ronan was being particularly over the top; it was in the way she always came early to practice and left last, even if Noah had to run off somewhere. 

She wanted to spend time with him, yes, but it felt like something more. 

“Dick!” Ronan called from the stage, startling Gansey out of his reverie and causing him to jerk and fall from the crate. Pain bloomed in his ankle as it crumpled under his weight and he swore. 

“Gansey? You alright?” Noah called as Gansey clutched at the joint and tried to get control of his voice. He could already see it swelling up but didn’t really know what to do about it. Should he go to a hospital? Was it broken? Surely it would hurt more if it were broken. 

“I’m fine,” he gasped, though his eyes were wet and his leg throbbed. “Just a, ow, twisted my ankle I think.”

Frantic whispering echoed back to him as he tried to pull himself to standing.

“Oh for fucks sake, move,” Blue said at last, pushing into the backstage area. “Noah, give him your hand.” Noah clasped him on one side and Blue mirrored him on the other and together they hauled him back onto the crate. “Can you move your foot? Side to side? Around in a circle?” Gansey followed her instructions, though the movement was painful, he didn’t seem to have any loss of motion. 

“Hurts but I can move it.” 

“Yeah probably just a twist then, I don’t think it’s broken anywhere.”

“Good. That’s good,” Gansey gritted out. The pain seemed to be dulling to a low throbbing now but he still wasn’t looking forward to standing on it. 

Adam arrived then and handed him a bag of ice wrapped in a towel which he pressed down gingerly. 

“You’ll be fine,” Blue said, softer than her brisk tone of the moment before. She knocked a fist against his bicep and he mirrored the motion, brushing against the soulmark hidden under her sleeve. 

“Thanks, Blue. Go, I’m fine. I promise.”

“Come on, we’re done cleaning up, let’s get you home. Let me help you down?” She offered up a hand and he grasped it at the wrist and used it to lower himself to the floor. 

With Noah and Blue’s help, Gansey hobbled to Noah’s car and sat while they loaded in the gear, feeling useless but having been told very firmly to not even think about helping. It felt weird, since he came along to help the band, not hinder them, but neither Blue nor Noah would let him out of the car. 

By the time everything was lugged back up into Monmouth, Gansey included, Blue looked exhausted.

“Stay here,” Gansey said, when she began to stand. “Crash on the couch. Please.”

Noah looked between them briefly before nodding. “He’s right, you shouldn’t be driving. Crash here.”

Blue sighed but agreed, grabbing her bass out of the car and letting Noah give her a spare toothbrush and a sleep shirt and shorts. They were both too big on her but she didn’t seem to mind. Gansey brought her a spare pillow and blanket, still limping slightly but largely feeling okay, and soon she was tucked into the couch, eyelids drooping. 

“Thanks, Gansey,” she whispered in the dim light. 

“Anytime,” Gansey promised before retreating to his own room. His ankle was bound in an Ace bandage and ibuprofen was further bringing down the swelling. He fell into bed still dressed and slept.

In the morning, Gansey awoke to a soft tapping on his door. 

“Gansey? Is it okay if I make coffee?”

Blue. Blue was here. Where was Noah?

Gansey made a sound that didn’t sound like the words he’d been trying to make and cleared his throat. 

“Yes of course.” He stumbled out of bed and stripped off his nasty clothes from the show, pulling on a shirt and sweats before joining Blue in the kitchen. He whipped up some omelettes for them, leaning weight on his uninjured leg just in case, as Blue clutched her coffee cup.

As he worked, he sometimes felt Blue’s eyes on him, but when he turned she wasn’t watching. He shook off the feeling and slid her omelette onto a plate. 

“Thanks, Gansey,” she murmured. 

She worked through the food silently as he cooked his own and joined her at the table. 

“How’s your ankle?”

Gansey rolled it slightly under the table and grimaced as the injured tendons complained.

“Still a bit sore but holding weight just fine so I’m not concerned.”

“Good.”

“Noah leave for work already?” Gansey asked, looking at the clock on the microwave. He didn’t have any classes on Friday but Noah still had work. He should really get some grading done later. 

Blue nodded. 

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“What?” Blue stared at him. 

“You had to do all the shit I normally do and you were clearly already exhausted.”

“You were hurt,” Blue said, confusion written across her face.

“I know, but it was a dumb way to get hurt.” He poked at his omelette. “Besides, I was there to help and I couldn’t. I was just another thing y’all had to lug back upstairs.”

“Gansey,” Blue placed her hand over Gansey’s where it sat on the table clenching his fork. He looked up at her. “You were there because we like you there. You know that, right?”

Gansey shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but I’m there to help and I couldn’t.”

“Gansey. We’re a fucking punk band. We can lug our own gear. We  _ have _ lugged our own shit. We ask you to come to shows because we like you being at shows.”

He looked back down at his eggs, unable to meet her earnest gaze. “I guess. I just feel out of place sometimes with the band. Like, Noah and Ronan and Adam are my best friends, you know? And I know they’re honest when they invite me to stuff it just feels like the band is their thing and it’ll never really be mine. Least I can do is lug gear and sell merch. Pull my own weight.”

Silence fell over the table.

“You really feel like that?” Blue asked quietly. 

“It’s just gonna be that way, I’m not musically inclined. I’m fine, really.” He looked up at her at last. 

“Have you talked to them about this? They’re your best friends, I’m sure they—.”

“I know they do, I feel it anyways.” Gansey cut in. “I’m trying to get over it, it’s just hard with rehearsals and everything.”

“I think you should tell them. They can help.” 

“I’ll figure it out. Just like I’ll figure out how to get over my crush on you. It just takes time.” Gansey pulled his hand away and stabbed at his omelette. 

Blue allowed him to eat in silence for another moment before she spoke again. “I’d like to show you something.”

“Sure,” Gansey agreed. “What is it?”

“A song I’ve been working on,” Blue answered, her cheeks darkening. 

“Oh, awesome, yeah I’d love to hear it,” Gansey said with a smile. 

“It’s not done yet but I’d like your opinion on it.”

Gansey nodded, though he was slightly confused. No one in the band had ever asked for his input on music before past ‘did you like it?’

They finished their breakfast in sleepy silence before moving to the living room, where Blue pulled out her bass and quickly tuned it. 

“It’s very rough,” she said.

“Alright.”

She began a simple chord progression, playing it through a few times before she began to sing over it. 

_ “I didn’t want to write this out, _

_ Another song about a name,  _

_ But the only thing I think about  _

_ Is if you maybe feel the same.” _

Gansey’s heart jumped into his throat and he searched her face desperate to understand what she was saying. She kept her eyes on her fingers. 

_ “I wanted to know you _

_ Wanted to show you _

_ Who I was before you  _

_ Who you’d be to me.” _

Blue began to pluck at the G string and finally looked up at him. 

_ “And you,” _

She shifted to a new chord and closed her eyes. 

_ “Were everything I need and more, _

_ My heart lying open on the floor, _

_ Hoping that I haven’t missed _

_ The chance to be soulmate kissed.” _

She stuck one more chord and then let her hand fall from the neck of the bass. She opened her eyes and Gansey smiled widely at her. 

“Like I said, it’s not done, but… what do you think?”

“Blue,” Gansey began, not sure what to say. Was he crazy to think this was about him? It had to be. “It’s really good. I really like it.”

Blue smiled, tentative. “Yeah? And, um, what do you think of the lyrics? Not too cheesy?”

“I think they’re just right.” He took a deep breath, gathering his courage. “And I don’t think you’ve missed anything.”

“No?”

“No. I feel the same.”

“I’m ready, Gansey. Kiss me?”

“Yeah,” Gansey smiles.

Blue grinned back then, leaned forward over her bass so that Gansey could reach her. He cupped a hand around her jaw and pressed his lips to hers. 

Fireworks lit behind his eyelids and Blue made a soft sound as their lips connected. 

“Gansey,” she gasped, breaking the kiss. “Feel it.” She laid her bass on the couch behind her and pulled his hand to her soulmark which seemed warm to the touch. Then she pulled him in again and the skin beneath his palm fizzled happily. 

Over and over they kissed, gripping each other and relishing the hum of their soulmate connection. 

Finally, Gansey pulled away and leaned over to see his name on Blue’s arm. He kissed the mark and smiled when Blue gasped above him. “It’s quite lovely magic, isn’t it?”

Blue nodded. “Yeah, but I wasn’t done kissing you yet.” She pulled him back to her and kissed him deeply again. 

Grading papers could wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who the hell let me write song lyrics i'm sorry


	7. And the radio plays a familiar song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is lyrics from You Are Loved by Defiance, Ohio  
> wow I just realized how many Defiance, Ohio lyrics I used whoops

When Noah came home that night, they made their usual ruckus on the stairs and Blue opened her eyes and looked up at Gansey. He shrugged and she smiled and they both knew they wouldn’t be moving from their cuddled position. Gansey kissed her head and Blue nestled back into his chest. 

The door flew open and Noah called out a hello to Gansey. They knocked around in the kitchen for a few minutes before making their way to the couch with a pair of beers in their hand. 

When they finally saw Blue, tucked into a blanket and Gansey, their mouth dropped open. For a moment, no one said anything, then Noah opened their mouth. 

“I’m gonna need another beer.”

Gansey laughed and took one of the bottles as Blue snaked an arm out for the other and Noah went to get a third. 

“How much do you want to tell them?” Blue asked in a whisper. 

“I’m okay with anything you are,” Gansey whispered back before Noah returned with their own beer and flopped into the armchair beside them. 

“So?” They gestured to the two of them, a grin spreading on their face. 

Gansey grinned back and kissed Blue’s hair again. 

“Remember the day I asked about Gansey’s first name?” Blue asked. Noah nodded. “That was the day we figured out the soulmark.”

“Wait you’re soulmates?” Noah exclaimed. “I thought you’d just boned!”

Gansey choked on air and Blue burst out laughing. 

“But that was a while ago. Have you been secretly… whatever you are this whole time?” Noah asked, brow furrowed. 

“No, we kept it platonic at first,” Blue explained. 

“We didn’t really know each other yet,” Gansey added. 

“And now?” Noah asked, leaning forward.

“Now we’re, um, romantically involved,” Gansey answered, feeling his cheeks flush pink. 

Noah leapt to their feet and tackled both of them in a hug so that they ended up in a tangle of limbs and blanket, beers held precariously out of danger. “I’m so happy for y’all!” Noah shouted. 

“Ow, Noah, that was my ear,” Blue teased, shoving them off. 

“Sorry.” They retreated to their chair. “Are you gonna tell Adam and Ronan?”

“I don’t see why not,” Blue said. 

“I think I’d like to take you on a proper date, first,” Gansey said. 

“Oh you would, would you?” Blue looked up at him with a teasing smile. 

“Yes, I would.” He kissed her briefly, soft and lingering, and she melted back into him. 

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Noah stood. 

“Bye, Noah,” Blue waved, climbing back into Gansey’s lap. 

“Blue,” Gansey gasped out as she kissed him again. “Dinner? Date?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Since you asked so nicely.” She kissed him on the nose then stood, reaching back down to pull him to standing as well. 

They ended up at a little cafe, nursing coffees long after their sandwiches were gone, ankles locked together and fingers intertwined. Any worries he’d had about them suddenly being awkward had flown out the window somewhere between leaving Monmouth and arriving at the cafe, with conversation flowing easily between them. 

That evening found them wrapped up together again, this time in Blue’s bed. 

“I should check my phone, make sure Noah hasn’t texted or anything,” Gansey mused. He pulled it out to find the group chat had been busy again.

**Class of YEETeen**

**Lynch:** so are you finally gonna ask her out NOW?

**Parrish:** Leave him be, Lynch

**Lynch:** [kissy-face emoji]

**Parrish:** Gansey, he’s just teasing. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. 

**Parrish:** Gansey?

**Czerny:** he’s busy tonight

**Lynch:** School thing?

**Czerny:** no 

**Czerny:** social thing

**Parrish:** Gansey??

**Czerny:** yes. leave him be.

He laughed and handed the phone to Blue. She read it quickly and snickered. 

“We should tell them soon, Noah won’t last long.” 

Gansey nodded. “I can tell them now? They won’t mind if it’s just in the group chat.”

“Nah, they can wait until rehearsal. No other emergencies?”

“Nope,” Gansey confirmed, locking the screen and dropping it back onto the bedside table. 

“Good,” Blue said, pulling him back to her. 

They decided to put the boys out of their misery early the next day, and arrived at rehearsal hand in hand.

“Holy shit,” Ronan whispered, nudging Adam to look up from his keyboard. 

“Oh!” Adam exclaimed. “Uh, hey guys. What’s up?”

Noah entered their room from his bedroom and squeaked as he dropped his drumsticks. “Hey!” 

“Hi,” Gansey grinned, sure his entire face was pink. “Blue and I are soulmates.”

“WHAT?!” Ronan shouted. 

Blue grinned and squeezed his hand before all three of them descended on the pair of them with hugs and fist bumps. 

“Y’all know I’m not gonna invade on band time or whatever, but I just wanna say it anyways. That’s your thing and I’m not trying to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“It’s not a band, it’s an idea,” Ronan snarked and Gansey rolled his eyes on cue. 

“You know what I mean,” Gansey teased back. 

“Well I don’t know what you mean,” Adam interjected, studying Gansey’s face. “You’re not interfering in the band, Gansey. We all want you here, we love that you’re here all the time. You’re just more tone deaf than me and I only have one working ear.” 

“I’m not that bad!” Gansey laughed. 

“You really are,” Noah agreed with a teasing smirk. “But we love our tone deaf fifth band member.” 

Gansey felt tears pricking at his eyes and blinked hard to push them away. 

“Really?”

“Of course, Gansey,” Ronan said. “You may not be an official Sleeping Tree but you’re part of us.”

“Thanks, y’all,” Gansey said quietly, letting himself be pulled back into a group hug. 

“I’m so glad y’all told us, too. I don’t know how much longer I could have held it in!” Noah added.

“Wait you knew?” 

“What the hell, Noah?”

Blue laughed as Gansey kissed her hair and they watched their three best friends bicker. 

“Proud of you, even if it was a little roundabout. You got there,” Blue murmured to him.

“I had help,” he answered with a smile. 

Blue just leaned up and kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Say it with me now: awwwwwww  
> Thank you for reading!! I love writing these two and had the most fun with this AU. Please leave a kudo or comment if you liked it :))  
> you can find me on tumblr at blueseyforthesoul


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